Johnny Dangerously

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Johnny Dangerously movie poster

The film Johnny Dangerously is a 1984 comedy spoof of 1930s' crime/gangster movies. The movie stars Michael Keaton as an honest, goodhearted man who is forced to turn to a life of crime to finance his neurotic mother's skyrocketing medical bills and to put his younger brother through law school. The movie also stars Joe Piscopo, Marilu Henner, Maureen Stapleton, Peter Boyle, Griffin Dunne, Dom DeLuise, Danny DeVito, Dick Butkus & Alan Hale Jr. The theme song "This Is the Life" was written for the movie by "Weird Al" Yankovic.

One of the jokes in the film hinges on the inability of villain Roman Moroni (Richard Dimitri) to pronounce his curses properly, hence lines such as: "You fargin sneaky bastage... I'm gonna crush your boils in a meat grinder. I'm gonna cut off your arms. I'm gonna shove 'em up your icehole..."

[edit] Plot summary

Spoiler warning: Plot and/or ending details follow.

A pet shop owner catches a young boy shoplifting a puppy. To discourage the kid from a life of crime, the owner tells a story . . .

It is 1910. Young Johnny Kelly is a poor but honest newsboy. After beating up young Danny Vermin in self defense, Johnny goes home on a cold July day to find that his mother needs an operation for which the family has no funds. Since the execution of Johnny's father, Killer Kelly, his widow, Ma Kelly, has supported Johnny and his younger brother, Tommy, who is fascinated by the law.

Johnny's fight with Vermin attracted the notice of local crime boss Jocko Dundee, and Johnny, seeing no honest way to earn the money for his mom's operation, sees no choice than to do a job for Dundee, even though it probably means breaking the law. He helps Dundee rob the nightclub belonging to Dundee's rival, Roman Moroni. When asked his name, Johnny coins the name, "Johnny Dangerously." But, Moroni never forgets a face.

Years pass. With his mom's continuing medical problems, Johnny goes to work for the Dundee gang full time. He becomes a suave young man, with plenty of folding cash. The whole neighborhood (including the Pope) knows that Kelly is really Johnny Dangerously, but Johnny's secret identity is carefully concealed from his brother and mother. They think he is a law-abiding nightclub owner. Tommy is now in law school, with a girlfriend, and somewhat of a prig--he wants to drop out of law school so he can get a job, marry his girlfriend, and get laid. With the assistance of a public health film, Johnny gets him to go back to law school.

Johnny comes to Dundee's headquarters--he is still involved in a running feud with Moroni--to find he has taken on two new gang members: Danny Vermin, and his sidekick Dutch. Danny has lived up to his potential and become a total scumbag, with a taste for using opera audiences as shooting galleries. Moroni, subtle as always, sends a robot with a machine gun to try to knock off the gang. He is not successful, and Johnny retaliates by knocking down Moroni's club (which was in need of expansion anyway) with a bomb dropped from a biplane.

The two gangs war. In the meantime, Johnny falls for a young showgirl new to the big city, Lil Sheridan. They go for a long walk together, ending in sexual fireworks.

The war continues. Moroni sends a plumber to plant explosives in Dundee's toilet. Dundee has a narrow escape, and he retires in Johnny's favor. Johnny negotiates a truce with Moroni.

Meanwhile, Tommy graduates from law school (Johnny's illicit earnings, of course, have paid for the tuition). Despite Johnny's efforts to steer him into a law firm, he goes to work for the D.A.'s office. A bit miffed that his money should be used to train a crimefighter, Johnny is nevertheless not worried--District Attorney Burr is on his payroll. The D.A. tries to sidetrack Tommy, but he becomes a major public figure. After he holds hearings looking into Moroni's activities, the rival crime boss is deported to Sweden despite his protests that he's "not from there."

(more to come)