Michael Kelso

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Michael Kelso (born circa 1958 or 1959) is a fictional character from Fox Network's That '70s Show, played by Ashton Kutcher. Tall and lanky, he is the dim-witted pretty-boy of the group, coasting through life on his good looks. His behavior is very much in line with a stereotypical oversexed lunkhead or himbo (male-bimbo). Kelso has surprised many by scoring higher on a test than some of his other friends and outwitting Red in electronics, leading some to believe that perhaps Kelso may be an idiot savant.

Apart from being unintelligent, Kelso has also been known to be quite sensitive. In one episode, Jackie talked him into wearing a leather jacket, believing him to look like Marlon Brando while wearing said jacket. His new piece of apparel led his friends to make fun of him for looking like the Fonz from "Happy Days", however, and he kept sulking every time someone brought this supposed similarity up.

Kelso failed the first grade for his refusal to write in cursive and lied about his age ever since. On a trip to potential colleges he said he had been dropped on his head as a child. In the year 3 season premiere Reefer Madness Kelso was shown smoking in a flashback as a 13 year old and he states that he's now lost all interest in school and academic aspirations, suggesting that he wasn't always as dumb as he often appears to be. Because he has kept his real age a secret from the rest of the gang (at least until a Halloween episode), everyone else now holds a grudge against Kelso because he did not use his age to their advantage and buy them beer.

Kelso's interests include sex, smoking marijuana, watching Christmas cartoons, playing with Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots, playing Atari, buying toy dinosaurs, and dreaming of being a spaceman. Kelso also engages in incredibly stupid activities of his own design, such as skiing off the tops of moving cars, and sliding down a rocky hill in a canoe. He has suffered all sorts of consequences for his idiocy (everything from gluing his hand to the Formans' fridge to burning himself while underwater) but apparently by dumb luck manages to avoid being seriously hurt or killed.

Kelso accidentally shot Eric Forman's pet hamster, Snowball, with a BB gun. Later he shot Hyde. There is also one time in which Hyde shoots Kelso in the leg.

When the show started he was dating Jackie Burkhart, played by Mila Kunis, a popular and self-centered cheerleader. The two lost their virginity to each other after Kelso and his friends got out of jail for riding in a car that was mistaken for being stolen. Jackie gets on Kelso's friends' nerves on a daily basis and Kelso repeatedly said that he was going to break up with her. But Jackie beat him to it and broke up with him after a pregnancy scare. They got back together later. Then, after Kelso had neglected Jackie, Eric caught her kissing her boss, and held it over her head. Kelso eventually found out, and went to ambush Jackie's boss, not knowing he was a blackbelt. Kelso is beaten up by Jackie's boss, and he is angry at her for a while, until she tells him to find out why he cheated. She says she cheated because she was neglected. Kelso finds out he cheated because Jackie always insulted him and made him feel bad about himself, and broke up with her because he felt he couldn't be with someone who made him feel like that. It didn't last, as they got back together shortly after. Kelso loves a good burn as much as the next guy, even when the burn is at his expense, but generally he doesn't mean to severely hurt someone, which he often does but most of the time he hurts people by an accident through virtue of his innate stupidity rather than by design. It is clear from Jackie and Kelso's relationship that Kelso definitely is not the one wearing the pants in his relationships; he is easily manipulated (Laurie pointed this out once and called him a "tool") and never fulfills his promise of breaking up with his girlfriend, although the latter may simply be because he is afraid to break a woman's heart.

He had an affair with Eric's sister Laurie (played by Lisa Robin Kelly). This leads to Kelso and Jackie breaking up again in season two. The next season they get back together after Jackie puts him on secret test. But at the end of season four Jackie wants to get married, a freaked out Kelso decides to bail out on Jackie and helps Donna Pinciotti run away to California, when they come back Kelso finds out Jackie has moved on and is now romantically involved with Steven Hyde.

In the sixth season opener, it's revealed that Kelso is allergic to eggs- right after he downs a glass of raw eggs. Also in the sixth season a plotline was added that made Kelso the illegitimate father of a baby girl, Betsy, (conceived in a bathroom at a Molly Hatchet concert). Shannon Elizabeth guest-starred as Brooke in several episodes during that year.

His character became a policeman, albeit a bumbling one.

Like Topher Grace, Kutcher chose not to renew his contract for season 8. Consequently, Kelso is kicked off the force, prompting him to accept a job as a security guard for a Chicago-based playboy bunny like club from the sleazy owner who is played by guest star Bruce Willis (ex-husband to Ashton's real life wife Demi Moore). He was promoted as the "supervisor" where he would be the warning customers "Don't touch that".

He has an older brother, Casey Kelso (Luke Wilson) and it's known he has at least two more brothers and at least one sister. One of the brothers is older, possibly the eldest and the other is subsequently younger. In all he has six siblings. Both his mother and grandmother have, in Kelso's words, "big honkin' whiskers." Kelso's dad appeared in one episode, entitled "Career Day."

Michael Kelso showed up for the series finale of That '70s Show, which aired Thursday, May 18, 2006. He joined Fez and Hyde in the water tower and was tricked into jumping off the tower as was done in previous episodes.

[edit] Trivia

• Hyde has hit Kelso on 6 known occaisions. In the episode Class Picture and the episode I Can't Quit You Baby (a.k.a. Jackie and Hyde Get Busted). On each of these occaisions, Kelso shouts "Ow, my eye!"
  • In in Forman's kitchen, the gang is eating; Hyde says he likes mashed potatoes and Kelso leans over Hyde's plate and spits out a mouthful of mashed potatoes onto Hyde's plate. Hyde jumps Kelso, and throws him to the ground; Kelso shouts, "Ow! My eye!"
  • In the Forman's driveway, the guys are playing basketball. Kelso insults Hyde's ability to play basketball, so Hyde jumps Kelso, and throws him to the ground; Kelso shouts, "Ow! My eye!"
  • In Forman's basement, Kelso comes in and changes the channel. Hyde tells him to change it back, and when Kelso says no, Hyde jumps him, throwing him to the ground; Kelso shouts, "Ow! My eye!"
  • In the Forman basement, Kelso spits out his gum in Hyde's hair. Hyde jumps Kelso, and throws him to the ground; Kelso shouts, "Ow! My eye!"
  • On Forman's back porch, Hyde walks outside, holding a plate with a pork chop on it. He goes back inside, and Kelso start licking Hyde's food. Hyde walks back out; Hyde jumps him, throwing him to the ground; Kelso shouts, "Ow! My eye!"
  • In Forman's driveway, Hyde is waxing his El Camino. As soon as Hyde turns his back, Kelso drops his pants and rubs his bare ass on Hyde's car. Hyde chases him into Forman's garage, hits him; Kelso shouts "Ow! My eye!"

That '70s Show
Characters
Jackie Burkhart | Fez | Eric Forman | Kitty Forman | Laurie Forman | Red Forman | Steven Hyde | Casey Kelso | Michael Kelso | Leo | Randy Pearson | Midge and Bob Pinciotti | Donna Pinciotti | Recurring characters
Other topics
List of episodes | Point Place | That '80s Show