Rules of Acquisition

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"Rules of Acquisition" was also an episode of Star Trek: Deep Space Nine.

The Rules of Acquisition, in the fictional Star Trek universe, are a set of guidelines intended to ensure the profitability of businesses owned by the ultra-capitalist Ferengi. The first rule was made by Gint, the first Grand Nagus of the Ferengi Alliance. The title of "Rules of Acquisition" was chosen as a clever marketing ploy (since the rules are merely guidelines) and Gint numbered his first rule as #162, in order to create a demand for the other 161 Rules that had yet to be written.

There are 285 Rules of Acquisition, but not all of them have been stated in the Star Trek canon. Most of the rules were written by Ira Steven Behr, a producer of Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, and he has published many of them in a book The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (ISBN 0-671-52936-6), the cover of which credits authorship as being "By Quark as told to Ira Steven Behr".

1 List of Rules
2 Revised Rules for the Modern Ferengi
3 Stages of Acquisition
4 External links

[edit] List of Rules

1. Once you have their money, you never give it back. ("The Nagus")

3. Never spend more for an acquisition than you have to. ("The Maquis, Part II")

6. Never let family stand in the way of opportunity. ("The Nagus")

7. Always keep your ears open. ("In the Hands of the Prophets")

9. Opportunity plus instinct equals profit. ("The Storyteller")

10. Greed is eternal. ("Prophet Motive")

16. A deal is a deal. ("Melora")

17. A contract is a contract is a contract – but only between Ferengi. ("Body Parts")

18. A Ferengi without profit is no Ferengi at all. ("Heart of Stone")

21. Never place friendship before profit. ("Rules of Acquisition")

22. Wise men can hear profit in the wind. ("Rules of Acquisition")

23. Nothing is more important than your health. Except for money. ("Rules of Acquisition")

31. Never make fun of a Ferengi's mother. ("The Siege")

33. It never hurts to suck up to the boss. ("Rules of Acquisition")

34. War is good for business. ("Destiny")

35. Peace is good for business. ("Destiny")

47. Don't trust a man wearing a better suit than your own. ("Rivals")

48. The bigger the smile, the sharper the knife. ("Rules of Acquisition")

57. Good customers are as rare as latinum — treasure them. ("Armageddon Game")

59. Free advice is seldom cheap. ("Rules of Acquisition")

62. The riskier the road, the greater the profit. ("Rules of Acquisition")

74. Knowledge equals profit. ("Inside Man")

75. Home is where the heart is but the stars are made of latinum. ("Civil Defense")

76. Every once in a while, declare peace. It confuses the hell out of your enemies. ("The Homecoming")

94. Females and finances don't mix. ("Ferengi Love Songs")

95. Expand or die. ("False Profits" (Voyager))

98. Every man has his price. ("In the Pale Moonlight")

102. Nature decays, but latinum lasts forever. ("The Jem'Hadar")

103. Sleep can interfere with opportunity. ("Rules of Acquisition")

109. Dignity and an empty sack is worth the sack. ("Rivals")

111. Treat people in your debt like family - exploit them. ("The Darkness and the Light")

112. Never have sex with the boss' sister. ("Playing God")

119. Buy, sell, or get out of the way.*

125. You can't make a deal if you're dead. ("The Siege of AR-558")

139. Wives serve; brothers inherit. ("Necessary Evil")

141. Only fools pay retail.

168. Whisper your way to success. ("Treachery, Faith, and the Great River")

190. Hear all, trust nothing. ("Call to Arms")

194. It's always good business to know about new customers before they walk in your door. ("Whispers")

203. New customers are like razor-toothed gree worms: they can be succulent but sometimes they can bite back. ("Little Green Men")

208. Sometimes the only thing more dangerous than a question is an answer. ("Ferengi Love Songs")

211. Employees are the rungs on the ladder of success - don't hesitate to step on them. ("Bar Association")

214. Never begin a business negotiation on an empty stomach.* ("The Maquis")

217. You can't free a fish from water. ("Past Tense, Part I")

229. Latinum lasts longer than lust. ("Ferengi Love Songs")

239. Never be afraid to mis-label a product. ("Body Parts")

242. More is good, all is better. ("Star Trek: Birth of the Federation")

263. Never allow doubt to tarnish your lust for Latinum. ("Bar Association")

285. No good deed ever goes unpunished. ("The Collaborator", "The Sound of Her Voice")

The Unwritten Rule: When no rule applies . . . make one up. ("False Profits" (Voyager))

*Rules which have been quoted on Deep Space Nine but have no episode reference.

[edit] Revised Rules for the Modern Ferengi

A revised list of rules was created by Grand Nagus Zek (after consulting a Bajoran orb the Bajoran Prophets made him give up greed in the DS9 episode "Prophet Motive"). These rules have never been accepted.

1. If they want their money back, give it to them.

10. Greed is dead.

21. Never place profit before friendship.

22. Latinum tarnishes, but family is forever.

23. Money can never replace dignity.

285. A good deed is its own reward.