Tom Swifties

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A Tom Swifty (or Tom Swiftie) is a phrase in which a quoted sentence is linked by a pun to the manner in which it is represented as having been said. Tom Swifties may be considered a type of Wellerism.

Examples include:

"Pass me the shellfish," said Tom crabbily.
"Let's look for another Grail!" Tom requested.
"I unclogged the drain with a vacuum cleaner," Tom said succinctly.
"I might as well be dead," Tom croaked.
"They had to amputate them both at the ankles," Tom said defeatedly.

As the examples illustrate, the standard syntax is for the quoted sentence to be first, followed by the description of the act of speaking. The hypothetical speaker is usually, by convention, called "Tom" (or "he" or "she"), unless some other name is needed for the pun (as in the Marie Curie example below).

The name comes from a series of books written for teen-agers in the 20th century (1910-1993), similar in many ways to the better-known Hardy Boys and Nancy Drew series, and, like them, produced by the Stratemeyer Syndicate. In this series, the young scientist hero, Tom Swift, underwent amazing adventures involving rocket ships and ray-guns and other things he had invented. An idiosyncrasy of the style of the author(s) of this series, Victor Appleton (Edward Stratemeyer or Howard Garis or others in Stratemeyer's employ), was (or at least was said to be) an over-heavy use of adverbs or other indications of manner of speaking and acting.

Some analysts distinguish among sub-types of Tom Swifties. Some call those in which the pun is carried by the verb "Croakers" (after the above listed example in which "Tom croaked"), or insist that only those examples in which the pun is carried by an adverb ending in -ly are "true" Tom Swifties, or make other distinctions.

[edit] More examples

"I don't like the taste of Merlot," Tom whined.
"I manufacture tabletops" said Tom, counterproductively.
"I used to be a pilot," Tom explained.
"Two heads are not better than one," said Tom, single-mindedly.
"I'll take the prisoner downstairs," said Tom condescendingly.
"I'm afraid I flunked my electrocardiogram," said Tom half-heartedly.
"I didn't know I got airsick," said Tom, heaving it aloft.
"It would never do for the credit to go to anyone else," said Tom in Otomí.
"I can't remember what I was supposed to buy," said Tom listlessly.
"You're a wicked glutton!" Tom insinuated.
"What would I need a prop gun for?" asked Tom blankly.
"Who discovered radium?" asked Marie curiously.
"I dropped the toothpaste," said Tom, crestfallen.
"Me drown in Egypt? It'll never happen!" exclaimed Tom, deep in denial.
"Elvis is dead," said Tom expressly.
"I'll never stick my arm in the lion's mouth again," Tom said offhandedly.
"I'm wearing my wedding ring," Tom said with abandon.
"I've changed my name to Patrick," Tom spat.
"2 bdrm furn w c/h," said Tom aptly.
"I know you're bluffing, because I have the other three aces," Tom called high-handedly.
"I can't believe I ate that whole pineapple!" Tom said dolefully.
"I'll never sleep on the railroad tracks again!" Tom said, beside himself.
"I won't let a flat tire get me down," Tom said, without despair.
"That's the third electric shock I've gotten today!" Tom said, revoltedly.
"I just love camping!" Tom said, intently.
"I'm never on time for family reunions," Tom related.
"The fishing around here is really lousy!" Tom said, without debate.
"I do like collecting baseball gloves," Tom admitted.
"I don't like 7-Up," Tom said spritely.
"That Brad Pitt is super cute," Tom minced gayly.
"I always go last in the gang bang," Tom announced forthcomingly.
"So what do y'all do 'round here for sex?" Tom asked sheepishly.
"What kind of money do they use in Paris?" Tom asked frankly.
"And I don't know how to balance my check book," Tom added.
".... . .----. ... -.. . .- -.. .-.-.- .... . .----. ... -.. . .- -.. .-.-.- ," Tom said remorsefully.
"There are no flowers here," said Tom lackadaisically.
"I'll clean tomorrow, Dad," said Tom, brushing him off.
"Oh my God, I've been bitten by a snake!" Tom gasped.
"I came, I saw," Tom concurred.
"That's third day he's missed my class this week," Tom remarked absently.
"Pass me the lozenges, Mister Ed," Wilbur asked hoarsely.
"I fall ill every Tuesday," said Tom weakly.
"That's the woman!" Tom said dismissively.
"What was it like, commanding the Confederate troops?" Tom asked generally.
"Look at those pasties twirl!" said Tom fastidiously.
"I like cocaine," Tom snorted.
"I am glad I changed that lightbulb" Tom said brightly.
"I used to have two sons," said William Tell aimlessly.
"Monkey see, monkey do," Tom aped.
"Too many Americans are overweight," Tom blubbered.
"I just love my job at the nuclear plant," Tom said glowingly.
"Where's the wite-out?" Tom said blankly.